Unsafe Partners

In 2009, the South Carolina governor reportedly “disappeared” for a few days.  It was later discovered that he had been with his mistress in Argentina.  In one of his former wife’s interviews on a news talk show, she described their therapy together after his return.  She said that she could recall the moment in their treatment when she knew their marriage was over, as she began to realize that he was not going to take any responsibility for his part of the problems in their marriage.

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Positive Psychology Principles in Therapy

Positive Psychology is the study of conditions and processes that contribute to the optimal functioning of people, groups, and institutions (Gabe & Haidt, 2005). Therapy builds on the client's positive experiences to improve their well being and to ascertain the role of their positive experiences. Clients begin to recognize they have the solutions to their problems; each moment and each situation is a moment of growth and learning. Our clients need to have hope in their situation and in the challenges they face. 

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Achieving Whole Health: A New Approach for Veterans and the Nation

New consensus study report from the National Academy of Science, Engineering, and Medicine is now available.  Read now to explore a #WholeHealth approach to improving the health and well-being of both veterans and the nation. The new report identifies five foundational elements of an effective Whole Health care system. It must be people-centered, comprehensive & holistic, upstream-focused, equitable and accountable, and grounded in team well-being. 

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Avoiding the Identified Patient Trap

Early in the development of family therapy theory, authors used the term “identified patient” to describe the family member whose behavior brings a family into treatment.  This is usually one of the children, but not always.  It is the person who has acted out enough to cause the parents to seek help or to get the family referred for treatment.

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Certification and Membership Committee

Greetings to all from the American Board of Clinical Social Work (ABCSW) Certification and Membership Committee. I wanted to take a moment to introduce you to the committee. The ABCSW Certification and Membership Committee’s charge is to review certification criteria and processes, develop certification guidelines, assist ABCSW staff with decision making, develop membership benefits, to work with other committees in coordinating efforts to benefit certification and membership, to establish an open channel of communication with all stakeholders (a function of this blog post), and to be a reference point for ABCSW support staff with certification and membership issues. 

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New Year's Resolutions

You … and some of your clients … have set goals for 2023 in the form of obligatory “New Year’s Resolutions” … many of which may be broken prior to January 30.  Have you considered setting up some mini-goals to assist in the process?  If resolutions are established annually, why not divide things up into more manageable monthly goals?

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Reframing Repetition Compulsion

As students, those of us who were pursuing a career as psychodynamic psychotherapists learned about the repetition compulsion.  The Oxford Reference ( defines this phenomenon as “a tendency to place oneself in dangerous or distressing situations that repeat similar experiences from the past.” Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary describes a compulsion as “an irresistible impulse to perform an irrational act.”

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The Perfect Language of Couples Complaints

All psychotherapists know the importance of language.  We pay close attention to exactly what our clients say and how they say it.  In this post, I will share a case that illustrates how the perfect language of couples’ complaints provide the roadmap for their treatment.

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The Language of Gratitude

“If you don’t know the language of gratitude, you’ll never be on speaking terms with happiness.” Chopra 

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Best Practices In Mental Health Journal Call for Papers

Best Practices in Mental Health is a premier, peer-reviewed journal that represents the highest quality scholarship in the field of mental health. With a comfortable format and a broad scope, BMPH is an excellent resource that provides an interdisciplinary and evidence-based focus for its audience of mental health educators and practitioners. Editor Daphne Cain is at the helm of curating new research from recognized experts on established best practices and from leaders in emerging best practices. The hand-picked editorial board ensures the journal keeps with National Institute of Mental Health's (NIMH) priority to promote the integration of technology, replicate and improve promising practices, and continue to provide diverse and enlightening perspectives that allow readers to remain engaged with the best research available in the mental health field. 

Call for Papers - Best Practices in Mental Health.pdf

The Neurobiopsychological Mechanisms of Couples Systems

Most forms of couples therapy are focused on resolving conflicts in the present-day lives of couples who seek treatment.  Some methods do delve into the historical antecedents of those conflicts, but their primary goal remains helping couples meet their current needs.

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The Delicate Balancing of the Couples Therapist

Most forms of psychotherapy require that the therapist perform a “delicate balancing act” between competing forces.  Some authors refer to this skill as dialectical thinking–the ability to mentally (and emotionally) hold seemingly opposite factors in dynamic tension in service of moving a system toward higher functioning.  In Neurodynamic Couples Therapy, there are primarily three areas in which the delicate balancing of the couples therapist is required for therapeutic success.

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Healing a Traumatized World

Healing a Traumatized World was is central as we move forward through resiliency and growth during these times.  The American Board of Clinical (ABCSW) Social Work inaugural conference was timely as it conducted a variety of sessions.  The work of clinicians was captured through professional workshops such suicide prevention in law enforcement personnel and implementation of PTSD treatments. 
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The Difference Between Hurt and Harm

A frequent complaint that therapists hear from couples when they enter treatment is that they have felt hurt by each other.  They want to tell us all about the pain that their partner has inflicted on them, and they often seem to want the therapist to declare which one of them has been the “most” hurt.

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Our Inaugural Conference, Healing A Traumatized World, has finally become a Reality!

For several years, during annual strategic plan meetings, our ABCSW Board of Directors, brought up the idea of hosting an annual conference for our members. Our goal was to establish a conference where our members, board, and other clinicians could come together to meet, learn, network, re-energize, share ideas and form new friendships, collaborations, and foster professional growth.  

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Reliving Rage

What is rage?  My sweet little cairn terrier taught me what rage is.  One day I put down her feeding bowl, and she started her meal.  I needed to move the bowl slightly to get it out of my way.  As I reached my hand down toward her bowl, she bit me!  She had never bitten anyone before.  Since I hadn’t spoken before reaching down, I think she might not have even been aware that it was my hand.

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Group Perspective to Current Events

Watching the recent upheaval in our society, more specifically watching the January 6th hearings, I began asking myself the question: Is the interaction in the group a product of individual behavior, or is the group understandable as an intact entity suggesting behavior is a product of the group?

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Don't Despise the Packaging...

                                     "Don't Despise the Packaging...."                                    

I recently watched Robin Roberts from Good Morning America, interview Glori Tuitt and her Mother, Ruthie Tuitt. The topic for that program focused on how members of the LGBTQ+ community have felt abandoned, unaccepted and rejected by their families and by their religion. Fortunately, some are finding their way back. “Don’t despise the packaging” is what GloriTuitt’s Mother, Ruthie Tuitt, said…”Just because it’s not packaged the way in which you feel it should be, does not mean it’s not a blessing..” She goes on to say that her daughter remains a great blessing to her. 

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Reliving Terror

At the end of my last post, I wrote about the shame connected to childhood abuse that must be relived in couple relationships.  Couples in which one or both partners were victims of childhood abuse will likely also be reliving terror.

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Reliving Shame

Because the emotion of shame usually derives from having done something “wrong” in the eyes of significant others, it is inevitably part of every important relationship.  That look of disapproval or disgust that accompanies shame-filled experiences is such a blow to our self-esteem that creates so much subjective pain; it is no wonder we avoid this feeling.  This leads to unmetabolized shame that is going to be relived in couple relationships.

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