Mutual Emotional Triggers
The emotional triggers that spark conflicts between intimate partners are well-known: he says he’s going out with friends from work, his husband feels rejected, his partner gets angry; she asks for more time to talk, her husband gets angry and defensive, she feels guilty; she tells her wife she’s disappointed in her, her wife bursts into tears, her partner tells her she’s overreacting. One partner’s action triggers an emotion in the other partner, which automatically evokes a predictable and patterned emotional response from the original actor. I have repeatedly written about this cornerstone concept of Neurodynamic Couples Therapy–mutual emotional triggers are a natural, inevitable, and useful aspect of couple relationships.